Sunday, April 14, 2013

Obnoxious

Aren't these background colours obnoxious? Hot Magenta and Brothel Red...this is how I feel inside right now.
I am so sick of everything right now. 
I have been trying to change some design elements on a blog that I use for business and NOTHING will fing change on it.
But on this silly blog, all changes excepted.


Both my parents are losing it. (minds..dementia)

I ran out of money because of my co-dependent nature. (trying to save my mom's business)
I am allegedly being offered a new job for between 80k-100k but nothing is firm.
OR should I completely dig in and take over the business that is to be handed to me but nothing is legal or on paper.
My good friend says that NOTHING is legal till on paper...well, duh...BUT Miss Co-dependent here is still willing to believe.

WTF is going on here! 
And then this morning, in my bathroom, I take a beautiful ceramic hook down that was on a loose nail. I say to myself,
"Better just take it down, Ivana, till you can put a molly in the wall and secure it properly. I'd hate that beautiful hook to fall on your head or WORSE, break."
Take hook down, place on radiator on top of towel.
"There you go, Ivana, being responsible is such a great feeling."

Come back just moments later, pick up the towel that I had inadvertently put on top of the hook on top of the radiator and what happens? You guessed it.
The fing hook falls to tiled floor and BREAKS AND the fing pieces are under the radiator so I reach for them, and CUT MY THUMB!
GODDAMMIT!!!!!

WHAT THE FING IS GOING ON HERE???
Why did I spend all my money on a business that I do not own?
I didn't create the mess but my whole life has changed because of it!

I get hopeful when I think of the future of it, then I get distraught, not believing, then this job offer comes along..now, not before of course, but NOW.

I'm sick of these nebulous options. 
"be quiet and listen to your inner guidance..."

WELL FING THAT! I need some LOUD, SOUND ADVICE!


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